we need to talk about sex

I’ve truly never been more terrified to post a podcast in my life. And it’s because there are a LOT of opinions out there about sex. And those opinions are usually pretty strongly held.

But here’s the deal: when I look around, I see a cohort of young people experiencing deep shame and intense emotional pain and disconnect around sex, so at this point, I have no choice but to address it.

So this week’s podcast is all about the role that sex plays in our lives and how to begin to heal some of our shame around it. Some good places to start (that I’ve learned from the incredible sexologists in my life):

• Learn about your boundaries and practice stating them. Grab a friend and practice articulating what it is you want, and also practice getting rejected.
• Become more aware of your body and be able to answer the question “What is it like to be a person in my body?” It doesn’t have to be pretty, but accessing that authenticity will inform the way you connect to others. (Hint: Pretty much everyone at least sometimes feels uncomfortable in their body.)
• Talk. About. Sex. With. People. You. Are. Having. Sex. With. This means: obtain enthusiastic consent, talk about safety (STIs, birth control, etc.), boundaries (mentioned above), desires, needs, traumas. Talking about sex normalizes sex and gives us a little bit more freedom from shame.
• You don’t get a vote in what another person does with their body. Stop contributing to the problem of sex-shaming on this planet. You can be a good friend who asks questions like, “Hey Annika. I’ve been thinking about sex a lot lately, and I’m curious, what does a healthy sex life mean to you?” but you don’t get to gossip about people. Period.

So tune in and tell me what you are thinking about this week.

From show: Lindsey Doe’s Want/Will/Won’t exercise.