how to be yourself in social situations

Holiday party season is upon us.

Hello social anxiety.

Ever have a feeling coming home from a party like, “why was I acting like that?! That’s not even ME.” Whether you were awkward or judgmental or crazy, something was not clicking. And then it gave you a bit more anxiety to go out into the next social situation, right?

So here are my favorite things about social situations:

1) They act like a mirror of who we are. Around other people, we can pretty quickly tell when we feel inauthentic, whether we notice it ourselves or it’s an indirect experience of just not “clicking” with the people around us. Social situations are the perfect opportunity to start practicing being your highest self, instead of acting out of fear-based thoughts. Get in the habit of noticing what situations feel great and write down your behaviors that led to that greatness.

2) They are a chance to evaluate who you want to be around. Are you acting like your authentic self and it’s STILL not clicking? Maybe this social situation is in your life to be an indicator that you have not found your tribe. You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, so take a serious look at what the people around you encourage you to do, say, and become. Take non-judgmental/compassionate note of the people you feel best around and the ones you don’t.

3) They allow us to witness our judgmental behavior. When a social situation feels off, it might be a good idea to check your judgment: are you judging others or yourself? When you judge someone, you have no space to love them. And if you are judging yourself, we all know that comparison is the thief of joy. Being around people gives us an opportunity to practice compassion and non-judgment. Take a minute to think about something you tend to quickly judge in other people. The more you witness it, the quicker you can release that habit.