how to set boundaries

Is there something in your life that feels off?

Is there something you’ve been complaining about a lot?

Your partner, your boss, your dad, the fact that you are trying to balance a full time job and being an activist who keeps the country from falling apart, etc.

When something doesn’t feel right, that’s a sign that a boundary could be set. But how do you make one?

Glad you asked.

1) Know what you want. (I did an episode on how to do this.) I guarantee that you know what you want, on some level, so create space for your intuition to come through for you.

2) Be courageous (I did an episode on this) and ask for what you want. Ground this conversation in compassion (I want good for both of us) and not defensiveness (here’s what you are doing wrong, f*ck you).

3) Enforce what you want. Keep checking in — are your boundaries being respected? No? Repeat steps 1 and 2. Have you boundaries changed? (Things change, I did an episode on that.) Great. Repeat steps 1 and 2.

4) If it’s a boundary you are setting for yourself, enter in self-discipline (episode here) and self-care (episode here). Hint: if you are an activist, you probably need boundaries for yourself. We need you for the long haul.

Setting boundaries is an incredible way to teach the people in our lives how to treat us. When our boundaries are met, we usually feel safer and freer to be ourselves. And isn’t becoming more of your Self the whole point?

Yup.